The ever elusive shade...
I live in real cosmopolitan city Mumbai n live a stylish lifestyle now, Because my profession is to be mostly in public or camera s glare so much that sometimes I forget where I came from.. I have learnt many English words since I came, earlier I used to say I have a concert, now I say I have a gig... I enjoy this change excitedly....What a journey life is... In one birth I am witnessing many births n how life is all about learning...
I am part of a beautiful musical reality show "lil champs" which I am not only enjoying but living every bit.. And in one episode we had Anna Hazare (messenger of humanity n peace) and kids interacted with him n sang unusually amazingly in that Episode.. I also came to meet n know Anna for the first time, his persona is full of the real" Buzurg" I have always imagined, since I left home... My Pitaa Jee and Baba Jee used to wear Kurta Dhoti and Topi and in my childhood. They were very particular about the cleanliness of their clothes. I think my father had three or four baniyaans and probably 2-3 socks. Each of these few clothes were old and obviously my father was using them since many years. That's why, his baniyaans were unbelievably clean yet had many holes in it. His socks had not a speck of dirt yet they were loose around the ankles and would bend over the edges on their own. These things in some supernatural way would make me feel like I am in the presence of people who are capable of preserving things that ought to be preserved, immune to trends and greed or even lust for the most mundane things in life. Chhoti cheezon Ki bhi bhook Nahi thi unhein. They made me feel protected and inspired. The way they lived their lives, was an example that no matter who you are, how you are or where you are, you have your role to play in the divine play of this vast universe. That you, how you live your life, what you believe, what decisions you make, big or small, can shape what you see in the mirror.
My wife sometimes calls me a cynic. She says I purposely refuse to see hope or good in what people are trying to do around us. I don't think I am cynical . Just that I want to be inspired. I want reason to hope, to believe and most of all to feel that change can come into this world.
The everyday ki maara maari that i experienced since the age of 13 when I left the cool shade of the care and security of my father and Babaji, has drilled into me the fact that this world is a cruel place. And you better toughen up cause u r on ur own.
We all, somewhere while glaring in the face of this burning world, keep trying to find that shade, that security from the corner of our eyes. Hoping to see a glimpse of it, as it fleets by...
On the 7th of august, as I spoke to Arvind kejrival, to invite Anna to lil champs, he asked me if I planned to come to ram Iila maidan, to sing "amber Tak yahi naad goonjega " . I was skeptical. I wondered, as we all are used to wondering if this was another person, who would let us down. My song for him was secretly also a prayer to god that this movement is not a political game that the anger and hope that I felt were not going to turn into another one of life's lessons on practicality and the ugly truth. I asked Sheetal. What should I do. She said "if u have to ask me to be sure, don't go. It has to come from within. You are in support of the bill, you are not skeptical about it. But whether you must go out there and put your heart out, in the open for the media to disect your intention, your catch, the sides that you take,depends on whether you are inspired enough to make it all worth it. Probably, tomorrow, when you meet Anna in person, you will know what you want to do. Probably tomorrow you will see a sign. And no matter what you do, I'm proud of you. "
The next day, I felt a different kind of energy in myself. We were all waiting for anna at the gates of famous studio. Among the other things that I saw, walking towards me, I saw a man, old, smiling, strong. When he called out Vande, each cell of my being shouted Mataram. I would get goose bumps each time he would invoke the nation in his small soft voice.
As he looked at me, and I held out my hand, to hold his, and bent to touch his feet,I knew I would be at ram Iila maidan soon. I knew. As if god wanted me to still have no doubt, he showed me one more sign.
The man, who had a tight grip on my heart and my hopes, on the hopes of the nation, was wearing socks loose around the ankle, with hardly a grip. The ever elusive shade was standing over me. Smiling.